self-titled: ^_^
everyone else is evolving
i suck. joe pernice is singing "i hate my life." to me.
my room is an absolute filth hole. i need to clean in desperately. i have a 13 page paper due on monday that i won't start until sunday night. i'm sick of being an awkward tall lanky freak. self-titled has turned into a joke. I've written 52 of the 104 days of this semester, and they've all sucked. Gone are my insights, my incredibly entertaining witticisms, it's all "blah blah blah did this and then i'll quickly talk about this and now i'm off to do this." oftentimes compressing entire days into a mere paragraph or two.
so why is this? christ, look at the big anniversary entry from last may. There's a life contained in those links. I haven't approached anywhere near the depth i had in years past this semester. it's just not fun anymore.
well, it's not that it's not fun to write, i just don't have the time. i mean, of course i have the time, but seriously, it's a whole different life this year. sophomore and junior year were quite conducive to writing. i mean soph it was just mike, i spent hours at night in front of the computer with my hearphones on. last year, it was tim and adam, and they worked much like me. stay up late at computers doing dumb internet things, so i wasn't missing out much by doing the same. this year, what with they guys and the going out all the time and then with John going to be and with across the hall... it's just a different set of circumstances.
hmmm nice, pernice just quoted a line from "god only knows."
anyway, it's also not like i'm holding back. granted i'm not talking about certain things nearly as much as i would if this were private, but it's not like last year this served as nothing but a place for me to talk about the deeply personal issues. and when it was it's when s-t was at it's worse, until that revelatory huge personal statement i make towards the end of the cycle: those always kick ass. So maybe this year's problem is i'm too wrapped up in personal shit, but won't write about it anymore, thus keeping me from writing interesting OR controversial entries.
or maybe i'm just a whiney bitch and need to either not care that i'm not writing as much or stop spending time out or across the hall.
and now the lame ass weekend, err, faux weekend since the weekend i'm about to write about starts on sunday, in review. Sunday night i did what i needed to: took it easy. Monday i did a lot more of that. Shit, what did i do monday? I just remember watching trading spaces. oh yeah, then i watched friends and raymond and slept through 7th heaven and then watched raymond again and then the girls and tim and i drank. kings then a lot of asshole and then another round of kings and then some very drunk sleep.
tuesday, which i guess was yesterday huh? i didn't do much until i went out to the bostonians banquet. i had the blackened filet mignon which was wonderful. even more wonderful since it was free. dimitrios gave me a blow up doll and my first ever picture frame. i'd love to put the frame up somewhere, but not until i clean this shithole of a room.
seriously, how tough is it for me just to erase the cclutter? put things in order, have a living space i can be proud of. maybe it'll be reflected in the way i live my life. you know, clean workspace = healthy life. i think i read that in dear abby or something some point along the way.
after dinner, sean and i went to kate and emily's xmas party, it was alright. my roommates arrived pretty shortly after we did which was good. the beer tasted like eggnog, but it was rolling rock so i'm really wondering what was up with that. then the usual home/bed combo.
maybe i'll go see amelie today. i still want to get out and see the man who wasn't there at some point. but the bastards won't let me park on campus, grr.