self-titled: ^_^
a cautionary tale
well, just about the worst thing that could happen happened today.
A little background. Two weeks ago when I was eating my chili, i was feeling pretty good. Well, I was feeling pretty awful, if you remember about 4 hours later i threw up a lot, but aside from that, I was feeling OK. The new position I'm in, sure, it's a lot of work, but it's not bad work, whatever. Then Staples called and told me they wanted to hire me. From that point on, my job sucked and I couldn't get out of it soon enough. And it's not so much my job as it is my boss, but the job certainly comes with it's share of headaches. But until i was given the very probable prospect of something new, i was perfectly content doing what I was doing.
The next two weeks carried on with me in constant communication with Staples, providing references, taking tests, being assured that "we're working as fast as we can to get you in here." To say i was confident would be an understatement. But I was understandably very very eager, the longer things take the more you get the creeping feeling that something will go awry.
Wednesday comes, HR e-mails me, "we've closed the books on you, all that's left is the department signatures." of course, the department is gone for the holiday. First thing monday.
I almost quit my job on Friday, because for the past 2 weeks, quitting has been the thing I most looked forward to. I didn't quit, much to the pleasure of my mother, who has been, at best, extrememly skeptical.
Today was spent clicking refresh on my hotmail page and checking my phone to see if maybe i didn't feel the vibration. At about 4 I see 508 on the caller id. this is it, i thought.
No, not so much. The call was from the head of the Department. Turns out Staples just did their budget review and they're over target and most departments are in a hire freeze until things get "resolved." The guy was very apologetic, very vocal about his disappointment in the company, very affirming that they want, and eventually (if i'm still game) will have me. He went so far as to say if they had tried to push me through early last week it probably would've slipped by. when it opens up, be it a year or be it next week, "we're not interviewing, we're calling you with an offer." And he'd be "shocked" if it continues for any longer than three months and expects it to be much sooner.
And to that, I've got nothing to do or think or say but shrug in defeat and say "we'll see."
So here i am, i was way too excited, way too talkative, and now i'm left with egg on my face. Great mom, your negativity was warranted, congratulations. And for everyone else, I talked it up and now I've got nothing, i'm again a failure and a fucking loser. but really, when has that ever been different?