self-titled: ^_^

so.. vegas.

money was won, money was lost, fun was had,

When i arrived Friday, it was very hot, i checked in to my hotel showered, and immediately went across the street to the stardust casino hotel (those three words, by the way, went through my head the entire damn trip, i swear they are a lyric to some indie song, or something close to it, or maybe i'm just crazy, gmail me [yeah that's right, g-mail bitch] of you can help solve this mystery, google surely could not). Anyway the "poker room" at the stardust was an embarrassment, but it didn't keep me from winning $170 at $3-6. I took the $20 off the top and put it on red at roulette, lost, and then headed down the strip in search of food.

I found it in a wendy's, and then i resolved to head to a movie theatre to see spiderman. however, there were too many casinos in my way. First stop was the venetian because i wanted to look at it, and it was nice and all, but it offered no poker that wasn't of the video variety, so I spent 40 minutes looking for the exit and finally was able to head further down the strip. Next stop, the Mirage. THey had a real poker room, because it was a nice casino and junk. I didn't do too well at 3-6 here, i got beat on the river more than i would like and i also played some questionable hands. i lost $100 right quick and then bought another fifty, but after i lost $10 on that, i got up and headed to the roulette wheel, determined. I put the $40 on red and let it spin. it hit red, i pocketed the winnings and let the 40 ride again. this happened a few more times, until I was up past my initial $150. i played a little blackjack, careful not to drop too far down, and headed on in search of spiderman.

Further up the strip there was this casino called flamingo, i went in and they had a sketchy poker room. A bunch of beers later i had won $100 at 2-4. then i went back to the hotel.

Saturday morning tim called and said he, big mike and ebner were heading to the hard rock. So i showered and headed up the strip to the hard rock myself. Little did i know, that the hard rock was not on the strip. My voyage took me from the stardust to mandaly bay (really damn far, really really damn far) until i realized the hard rock was in the opposite direction. I got a smoothie, sucked it up and headed back. phone call from tim informed me the hard rock was not kind to them and we chose to go to the mirage for poker. i sat down at a 3-6 table and played for a while, i did well, i think around $300. then i got up, met with the boys, adam and his friend jay were there too, and we hung around a bit and then adam jay and i got food at outback across the street.

then we all met again and uhh, i don't know, went back to the hotel room?

they were at the tuscany and we all played blackjack and roulette until i lost 200 or something dumb, maybe 300? no, i think i won some back on roulette. the lack of poker was clearly my downfall. adam had a couple of additional friends hanging around, this chick mary who earlier had been propositioned by suge knight and had apparently been trained by adam to flash her a cups on command, and then this gay guy rob, bringing the gay/straight male ratio to 3 gays guys to somewhere between 0 and 3 straight guys.

We departed the hotel and headed to ceasars. i had birthday pizza and we saw lenny kravitz and macy gray sitting at the table next to us. we had some shots and then headed to this OPM club at the behest of mary. the club had a line full of black people who didn't want to hang out with us, but yet mary negotiated a $100 package to get us all in right away, big mike was wearing shorts though, so he was a deal breaker. What followed was about an hour or two of indecision, slots, and making out.

finally, we got our asses in gear and decided to head to the hard rock by way of ellis island, this dive bar on the way to the hotel. So, with not simply a few "huddled masses" references, we headed to ellis island, which was just wrapping up karaoeke night and was offering rediculously cheap beers. tim and i, stalwarts of "can we stop standing around and get wasted immediately" immediately got a beer, and within 2 minutes the people who had first sat down like civilized human beings were getting up asked if anyone needed a beer, and despite being but 2 sips into our own we each said "yep." what followed was some karaeoke. then it wrapped up. Now, there was this old woman sitting behind us who apparently had touched adam's ass, so we thought it'd be fun if he put his arm over the seat back and maybe casually bumped into her a few times. she took the bait, and through one set of circumstances or another, she walked over to our table and immediately pointed to us one by one saying whether we were gay or not and how we felt about it. I was the only straight one, tim was the most gay, and the next two hours were spent with her asserting just how gay tim was, including cameos from her son, a guy in a pink shirt with the collar up, jc chazev, a random black man who i believe was named jerome, the lord jesus christ and a whole crapload of really cheap beer.

A night surely not to be soon forgotten. So we never quite made it to the hard rock but it doesn't matter. Ebner and Big Mike missed this all because they were playing slots like a couple of old women.
so ends day 2 or 1, depending on who you are.

Adam texted me early (11) the next morning and we arranged to have him pick me up and i'd stay at their hotel on sunday night.we made an early visit to the tuscany casino, where i won $160 in roulette quickly, and then walked with like $100 after some blackjack. and we headed to the palms.

oh, the palms.

I started off conservatively with some 2-4. i couldn't get a damn hand. and when i got something close to a hand, i lost it. it was a bad bad bad run of cards, and i lost a good bit quickly.

I then went out and played some on tilt roulette, which i was up and down and up again at, but i think ultimately down. then i went back and tried my hand at 4-8 with the old people. I fared much better here, I flopped a set with KK twice actually, which was the first time all weekend that i flopped a set on pairs (which i had had many). but, overall, i got beaten like a redheaded step child on the river, over and over and over and over again.

People unfamiliar with poker can skip to the next paragraph, but allow me to illustrate a pivotal hand for the afternoon. It was a kill pot, which meant that one person had won two in a row, so instead of $2 blind, $4 flop, $8 turn/river, it was $3-$6-$12. I was dealt pocket Aces. So I, of course, raised to $9 immediately, there was a reraise to $15 which a reraised to $21.

The flop comes, A-9-10, 9&10 hearts. So i'm sitting at trip aces, my only competition being a flush or straight draw. I lead the betting and bet $6, there is a raise, a caller and then i reraise, both players call. $40 invested for those keeping track.

Next card comes up, 6 hearts. So three hearts on the board, the flush can be out there. I feel like feeling out the other two players so I check. Fat greek guy to my left bets, old dude folds, i raise, greeky calls. Total invested is $64, pot is close to $200. Final card comes in a black 9. I have aces full of nines, if greeky had a flush, i just freaking owned him. I bet, he raises, i laugh on the inside and raise back, HE raises. Now i'm worried, can he have a straight flush? I'm a little frenzied but i think it might be possible, so i call. $112 to this hand. I show my AAs with a restrained cockitude. he puts down a pair of nines. Fucking Zorba had quad 9s. QUAD NINES. SO he wins all that substantial money from me, and on top of it, wins $600 in "high hand" money from the casino since 9999 hadn't been had for a while. Dude wins $600 and can't even toss me a raise or two back.

No hand approached that level, but there were 3 others that i had invested $60+ on only to have the strongest hand until some old man/woman beat me out on the river. over all only lost $200 at this game, which means i was winning some hands here and there, thank god.

Then i played some more tilt roulette and went back to the hotel to meet everyone (they had left just as i sat at the table and i wanted to have some fun with it).

we tried to see some fireworks but the strip fireworks show was a myth, so i met with tim and big mike in the paris, we got jonesing for some cheap table games, met with jay and adam and headed to the tuscany. On the way there we decided that while in vegas, we definitely needed to go to a strip club. And instead of walking the 1/4 mile to the nice strip club, we went into the platinum gentleman's club next to the hotel. within 30 seconds, big mike uttered the words that i'm sure were not far from tim or my mind "uh, you guys want to get the hell out of here?" and we did. and i showered and got into a bed for 3 hours of blissful, hardly continuous sleep.

and so ended vegas. i flew back, slept as much as i could, realized i had left my keys at the marriott, climbed in through katie's bedroom window, and then watched some tv.

Also, on the way down i read "bringing down the house," the book about the mit kids who took vegas with blackjack, and i'm firmly convinced that it is our generation's most important piece of literature.

My Seth Cohen hoodie has arrived. I was sad when it got here because i don't have boobs or a respectable sized upper body, so the hoodie, when worn, read "ETH COHE," but then i washed it, and it has shrunk down somewhat so the S and N are less obscured. This has convinced me that it is a magical hoodie that will grant me superpowers of indie rock and landing super cute indie rock chicks who wear glasses.

I am tempted to purchase a digital camera just to share my shirt with the world.

And now, seth cohen rings a bell for you

hey look, comments work in an extremely limited fashion again. yeah bitch.

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