self-titled: ^_^

i saw Requiem For A Dream in theatres December, 2000. I got the DVD may or june of last year. Since getting the DVD, i've seen the film 6 times, one viewing being the commentary track. And only once alone. I have no need to see the film by myself, i do however feel compelled to show it to anyone willing to watch.

So i showed it for movie night tonight. Not quite the turnout i was looking for, but all the roommates were there, as well as sean dimo and mike. Only mike had seen it before. Darren hated it. Dimo loved it. And Sean said it was an amazing movie, but then said that Se7en was more depressing. Why? Because in requiem, the characters do everything to themselves, he felt no sympathy for them as characters because they were fuckups. Darren had his back, dimo and i were pretty strongly opposed.

Yes, each character is ultimately responsible for his or her own demise, but shit. Here at Boston College, very rarely do we deal with something as self-destructive as the people in the film, occassionally it happens, but it is usually quite contained and so very very rare. We're a bunch of middle class white kids, going to a decent university living productive lives. But ultimately, we're sheltered. For most of us, heroin and prostitution aren't the next logical outlets. But for all of that, i look at sarah goldfarb, the "clean" one of the bunch. She was destroyed by diet pills, by fucking prescriped medicine that her old jewish friends told her about so she could lose some wait. I feel so much sympathy for all the characters, but using sean's fuck-up logic, i go out to her the most, because heroin and prostitution are pretty uncommon outlets, but diet pills?

So i feel a little worse for her because she maybe didn't know what she was going into so much. Unlike the rest of the crew. It's no surprise that heroin isn't exactly the safest thing in the world. But this is all just sympathy for what methods they chose to get where they are. but i still feel so badly for each of them knowing what their choice has created for them.

I don't live in the city, i don't have drug connections, i don't want them. It's certainly a case of environment, but the symptoms are universal. Marion's the worst of them all, she's a straight-out junkie. From the beginning to the end, her motivation is the high, or, better yet, destroying the low. Her background i'm sure is what led her to the first push: rich, uninvolved parents and a father who most likely is a bastard. Escapism, the need to feel loved. Her relationship with Harry: there's a reason aronofsky employed that split screen scene of them in bed - they were "together" but in completely different places. She wants to be loved, and when harold says it, she feels good, but it's probably the only reason. Which leads me to Harry. i think he's really in it for Marion. His fix isn't the dope, his fix, the thing that leads to his downfall i think is his love. It's all for marion, to get money to get her clothes shop, to make her happy, to show his mom he loves her buy buying a tv, etc. Yeah, he enjoys the heroin. Too much. But he doesn't go to florida to get some to push off with. Tyrone: poor black kid growing up in a shitty neighborhood, he wants to make something of himself, to make his momma, probably dead, proud. his fix is success. And then sarah. To fill the void left by her dead husband, her absent son, her monologue to harry says it all. She loses weight, she gets on tv, and she's finally somebody important again.

The movie wrecks me. None of them woke up and said "hey, time to ruin my life." They just reached a point where they needed something, and they thought they were finally finding it. It is a horrible look at the destructive powers of addiction, but also, i think, a serious eye-opener and something that more people should have seen and can still see. And i'm not worried, but i'm very disappointed that aronofsky's next project is the next batman movie. Because yeah, he's a brilliant young director with simply amazing ideas, Batman will certainly be an impressive technical feat. But Requiem is the complete movie that directors spend lifetimes trying to create. Sure, he had some great source material, but that's half the battle. The next Batman will be fucking cool, but that's probably it. And maybe after composing requiem he needs a break. and maybe he'll never beat it. and he probably won't, but goddam, i'd love to see him try. but batman is not the movie.

so, ahem. let me step off my soapbox now.

met with my fiction teacher today to apologize for what i turned in on monday and then counterpoint and then home to complete BC's 2001 football season with a victory over #3 Miami in the Orange Bowl. That's twice i've beaten those cocksuckers. I rule. And thanks to va tech's win over them on christmas day, i have become the Big East Champions. Can't wait for 2002.

Then i went to the MFA to see Platform, a chinese film from 2000, for world cinema. The movie i thought, was actually quite good. Nothing too special, but just a nice quiet look at a group of young chinese friends during the midst of what was apparently a pretty large cultural change on the mainland in the 80s. I really enjoyed the performance from the main guy, he played the quiet turned explosive musician well. Unfortunately, i had to cut out early to get home for my own showing, so i don't know what ever happened with our hero Cui Mingliang. then movie night and then this and now puttsing about for a bit.

also, "can you come home today?" that was the high point of tonight's viewing. that line is just too much.

so today was kinda long.

last night i set my alarm for 9:15pm instead of am, so i wasn't up till 9:45 or so, showered, dressed, delivered a tape, got a coffee and went to work. read up on palm stuff, came home, watched tim beat northwestern and then back to work. I played a goddam hour of snood puzzle mode and didn't enjoy a second of it. the levels were all different and they were all one shot big score deals and it was retartedly easy. and then i went to business law and played some game for the most of it. then to rehearsal and then katie adam i went to coolidge corner to see gosford park.

i loved it again. having seen it a second time helped so much. i now understand so much more of the movie, all the relationships etc. then on the T back we ran into tony from ecuador and sunday night and me and sean went to his place to watch snatch, which i liked alot more the second time. i have to stop now because i fear my typing is far too loud.

well well well, look who it is: me.

No writing because i've had a very busy weekend. And by very busy, i mean full of a lot of drinking.

Thursday... can i really think back to thursday? Ah yes, we had bostonians rehearsal and then i went to sean's to watch the BC v. Duke game and drink beers. And we did just that, and then to some random party at 1661 where some of the roommates and roommettes met up to drink beer and be college kids. shifted gears and went to butler's. talked wrestling and csom with laura for a long while and then took the world's longest walk home with brenda. My best estimates put it at 40-45 minutes, it should take 20, and it's not like we took any sidetrips, we just walked, with very many very slow and very short steps.

I think i may remember waking up a little bit hung over the next day. I went to class, stopped by the career center to get my character-building schedule, and then did some laundering of my soiled clothing. Or maybe not. Then we had a bostonians show. Nope, that was the next day. Then i umm, well. OH. I watched tv in 829 and then showered and dressed all pretty to go with adam and katie and mike to toben's rockin' new year's eve. we were promised punch and champagne. I got a glass of punch, a lot of beer and some cigarettes. He had the tape from new year's playing, but then it got bumped to 1am in favor of partying more. But i wanted to go to sean's, so we left at like 12:45, got to sean's, and counted down to the new year and sang auld lang syne. Had a nice time there, came home inebriated, harrassed people, and then fell asleep in my rockin' new year's eve getup. Also, "get-up," i suppose. You'd think it'd be "getup" but that just looks damn ridiculous.

Saturday, saturday (sung to the tune of the song that went like that). Woke up and bummed around for a while, went to espresso royale, sat and wrote a letter. Drank apricot tea that the chick behind the counter fixed for me, i enjoyed it. Came home, got niced up for the Bostonians show at Milton, and headed out there.

Was feeling pretty queasy on the way there, sitting in the back seat of diane's car of sudden stops and sharp turns of death probably didn't help. We got to milton, rocked some high school kids' socks off, and uhh, felt good about ourselves. After our set i embarked on my quest to make the world happy and drunk together. Kate's sister was up and i wanted to give her a power hour. I was coming home a little later, 10:30 or 11, i had some people waiting for me. Then i found out that there were a lot of folks over and the power hour was going to be done in shifts, which made my heart hurt, because i like it when people drink together, not alone. But i guess it made sense with loudness and sheer number of people. So that was cool. Then came the beer issue, the roommettes were getting 4 cases, i said i could swing by and pick up 2 more, they got 3, katie didn't have her id, so no beer was bought, i spent countless minutes on the phone with sarah or kate trying to figure out how to drink so that everyone who wanted to drink could do so happily. I nearly had an aneurism. In the end, i couldn't make a run because diane went the wrong direction on the pike and got us home late, but it didn't matter because i came home to a room full of what seemed to be very unhappy and sober people. I keep being told it wasn't my fault, but i fear my obsessiveness over getting everyone happy and drunk together may have hurt things. But kate sarah julia and i forged ahead with the power hour. Sean joined and later tim. By the end, as powerhours are wont to do, it was all smiles and glazed eyes. We then went to 16something to meet up with the rest of the crew, ran into them going in the opposite direction, kicked keg or something, some people went home, others to the Mods were we went into a happening party that was unfortunately also kicked. Much fun was had with yelling "hit the triangle button" while next to a cop car, and then back to the 800s.

There was some asshole happening in 29, i joined, was asshole for a while, never really got that presidential hand. Then i think kings. Then, i think sleep. Well, i know sleep at 6:30, but i think there may have other sleep in there as well, or, "passing out," as the doctors like to call it, because there is definitely a 2 hour time frame i have zero recollection of. Also, i spent the entire night dressed up, again.

sunday sunday sunday. Woke up and proceeded to be a piece of shit. Yes, i had fiction writing to do, and yes i had counterpoint to do, and unfortunately, sitting on my ass watching football did not help accomplish those goals. Went to bostonians rehearsal, where katie and i got to play FBI/detectives and go pick up an AWOL carolyn from her room. And then, and then. After rehearsal i went to lower to pound down some fried foods, because, you see, it was adam's 21st birthday and i had an ID coming from toben's friend. So in a sense, it was to be my 21st birthday too. I ate like 15 jalapeno poppers and some moz sticks. Then went home, watched darren play a game of football, changed, and called katie. The id looked nothing like me, have fun at home petey. i went to 829 dejected, and tara told me to go anyway. so i did. the id wasn't bad, and it certainly got me into the avenue and our house. it probably would've worked at great scott's and maryanne's too, had one not had a $5 cover and the other pretend they were closed. Avenue was fun, had 12 people around some tables, adam kept getting shots and drinks thrown at him. Adam got scared. Some random dude brought a drink and adam passed it to me. I got to light a shot, dump the shot glass into a thing of beer and chug it. It was fun times. Then ourhouse, a lot more chill. katie and lori from the real world acted silly, adam sat scared on the couch but still took the shot i gave him, then we went off to MA's, which was closed. Cityside too. So, all the bars closed, we thought long and hard about what we could do, because more drinking was definitely in need. So, to sean's place we went, the 12 of us barge in, sit down and drink beers. This worked for a while but then we overstayed our welcome and were kicked to the curb. So a few people dropped out and the rest went to karleen's mod. I made adam drink a shot of vodka and everyone took generous helpings from a handle of morgan's. Then we got kicked out of there, most people left, and the rest went to 830. It was me and adam and katie and 2 of adam's ecaudorian friends: tony and verdi i believe. Tony brought some bottles of icehouse. I poured a shot of whiskey for adam, he said no whiskey but i lied and said we had morgan's, so i was just going to pass it off and surprise him. Unfortunately, shortly after arriving, adam made his date with destiny in the bathroom. Darren came out to complain about katie's piercing voice, i tried and tried to shut her up but the bitch wouldn't listen. I ended up drinking a couple of beers with tony and verdi while tony talked to adam about the virtues of throwing up. And then the three of us passed around the shot of whiskey i had poured. Kind of funny as 3 guys each had 2 sips from a shot glass. Then folks left, i had a closing cigarette with tony and then back to a bed that simply would NOT stop spinning.

Woke up this morning having to pay for last night. Got out of bed at 12, an hour later than i wanted, and wrote my thing for fiction. then went to class one and then to fiction. I tell you what, i've been here for 7 semesters. I'm quite certain that this is the first time i've been really really really excited to do all of the reading/writing and all that. the class quite frankly excites the hell out of me. it's going to be a challenging experience, but only if i choose it to be and not go the easy way out like i did with this first exercise. after class i got some desperately needed food and then to the office to do my counterpoint homework. to mcelroy with kate and then to class. i don't feel like writing it all, but no one had any clue where the class was and after a lot of sitting and some walking around i said fuck it, i've wasted 30 minutes and i will waste no more. however, kate stuck it out and eventually found it. oh well.

So i came home, and finished up BC's 9-2 regular season with a 35-14 victory over syracuse. And then i came in here and am writing this. And now, perhaps an e-mail or two, and then some music.

it's time to greet life with newfound confidence. i'm due for a character change, and i figure i can't go wrong with this. the whole in theory/in practice thing might be difficult, but this should be fun.

don't remember my day. oh yeah, slept till class, which was cancelled, bought stuff at the bookstore and came home and worked on a couple of mixes. and then i went to world cinema.

i did three good deeds in the span of 2 minutes at the soda machine there. gave away 2 quarters and broke a 5 dollar bill.

before class tim made dinner for the rooms and i almost broke and then fixed sarah's computer.

class was good, we watched a movie from taiwan called red sorghum, it was good. i hate coke from plastic bottles, i think my professor farted during the movie (someone did, i heard it) and then i saw a sheep giving birth in a clip from a documentary he showed next.

back home for movie night. after some technical difficulties i showed the preview for next week's movie (requiem for a dream) and then showed the insider, some loved, some liked, mike hated.

i hate my roommate being asleep right now because my keyboard is so loud. i will try to write earlier tomorrow so that i can be verbose without feeling guilty.

peace out.

sigh. why must i ride such an emotional rollercoaster?

there was something i forgot to write about this past weekend, and that is the goodbyes said to laura and john. laura, who garnered great favor this past semester, had a fairly emotional goodbye with me at mike's party, because she was drunk and i was still riding the wallow wagon pretty strongly. she said some really nice things, which made me feel astronomically good, especially given the circumstances. then came john, who had been up since thursday reminding me what the room was like before he left. he made a nice gesture to me early on and then rubbed my head or something before he left. the end.

today i got up and went to class (where my professor recognized me from last year) and read articles on the palm pilot. i read one from salon.com about lord of the rings vs. star wars. it was an entertaining read and i particularly enjoyed this one line: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" is just the first film of a trilogy, devoted to preserving the integrity of books that everyone has either read or is currently pretending to read."

and then i came home and played a game of football with darren and then ate pizza and went to business law, where more palm pilot playing ensued. then came bostonians rehearsal, which wasn't nearly as much of a dread as i had predicted. then i came home and IM wasn't working, so i decided to drink beers and clean our room. tim helped out and now we have a kinda clean room and it excites me.

magic 8-balls suck. i mean honestly, who uses them, gets a negative response and then doesn't immediately ask again or ask "are you full of shit" or soemthing. they should design some kind of prediction maker that forces you to ask a question only once. also, the magic 8-ball is stacked: too many positive responses. i think the old method of flipping a coin is much more practical.

and what brings this on? this program for my palm pilot i've been playing with all day. i actually went so far as to do it for about 20 minutes straight and catalog all the positive/negative/unsure responses. i haven't actually done the tallys and run the analysis yet... maybe tomorrow.

death cab's release this year is uhh, really good. had it on the nomad today, such good good good music. yay for ben gibbard. spoon too, and d-plan, and the microphones, and so many other bands.

i've had problems connecting to s-t in the past days, thus the no entries.

Last entry was jan 15, now it's jan 21. That's a week. or close enough.

the semester's first movie night went off without a hitch, rushmore was well received, and i'm looking forward to an exciting and well-attended series.

On thursday, brenda and i had a nice chat with dean ryan, and then some class might have been had, some football most likely played, and then i went with Adam and Sean from chorale to presto's, then to lex's, then to stephanie's. At steph's, the bostonians gathered for drinking and selecting songs. we picked some songs, something jewel, something garth and something by some chick i don't know. The rest of the night was spent talking for hours re: bostonians problems. Everyone almost always looks to me for everything, that's tough. I mean, i'm music director, which i guess in some circles can be seen as a figurehead, but i can't and i won't worry myself to solve every problem that arises, it's not in my job description, it's not in my personality. After drinking, katie mike dimo and i hitched a ride with some girls that bummed a cigarette from me and then i came home, was very loud in 829, and then crashed hard.

i'm typing now and my roommateis sleeping, i feel bad about that. it was something i rarely had to worry about last year, but has reared its head many a night.

friday was national laundry and football day. i actually was up really early, 9 or 10, i don't know why, just couldn't sleep. i don't remember shit about friday until the big beirut tournament at diana's. Brenda and I won our first game against some schmucks, then garnered a controversial victory over darren and diana, and then lost to sober guy. a heartbreaking loss, and perhaps a metaphor for what was the come. No, that wouldn't be a metaphor, because i believe metaphors have to be constructed as such.

friday night kind of ended in a brian-overreacts-yet-again mess, walked home in my most punkish manner smoking camel blues, only to be greeted by a fire drill. slept long into saturday, played and watched some football, and got dumped.

dumped. I guess maybe you can call it that, it's not entirely appropriate, but it's not entirely off. end result is that it was brenda's time to put her foot down, and it's looking for good. and obviously, on saturday, i was none too happy. pretty much broke down, and then went to mike's party with TIM. party was decent, there was some terribly played beirut going on, and when TIM and i got on the table, the worst team in the world decided to start playing really well. it ended after about 3 or 4 rounds with us still having 2 cups to hit. came back home, saw some drunkenness, participated in some drunkenness, probably had some more bad interactions with brenda, and passed out.

then sunday, woke up, watched and played more football, took out a new lease. wallowing has left me, it's dumb. i'm actually pretty ok now, and i think it's largely because i decided not to be a baby and actually act normal and be friendly and not ignore her. granted, it's not like i'm having the time of my life, but i'm not wearing black and smoking clove cigarettes and reading camus. most of the time things are peachy, but every now and then i just get a wash of that feeling. realization, loss, nostalgia, "wistfulness" as TIM would say. it happened today in the movie theater (more later), and it was bizarre, a.) it was a non-touching scene in a war movie and b.) my heart hurt. I know that sounds ridiculously gay, but i'm dead serious, i felt a very strange feeling in the left side of my chest, where the heart is. doesn't make sense, but hey.

the rest of sunday, after the football, was spent watching the golden globes and then drinking mucho with tara and kate and just talking for hours and hours. and about a lot of stuff, not just the great shakedown from the day before. and i saw and talked with brenda briefly that night, and it's cool. i don't think it should be, i think that i should be hiding from and avoiding her and thinking angry and sad thoughts when i see her, but i'm not. and hurray for that, because i'm sure this way is MUCH better.

today i slept till 1 and watched and played some football. i then played with the palm pilot for a while. did some IMing. downloaded some music. ate a twice-baked potato courtesy of tara. then i forget. oh, football. then went to see black hawk down with a crew, and i declare it the best modern war movie i've seen. three kings instantly came to mind for comparison, but three kings was more commentary. Granted, there is some commentary on the nature of our activities in somalia after the gulf war, but the point of the movie was not that, the point was spoken very clearly towards the end, when a delta force dude (coolest special ops people ever) was talking about what he says when asked at home why he risks his life so much, why he's a "war junkie," he says: "It's about the men next to you. That's all it is." and the movie showed that. saving private ryan tried to do that, and in comparison, it did a really shitty job. big fan of black hawk down, which really bothers me, since jerry bruckheimer was somehow involved.

then i came home, put on my superfan shirt, and played the season game of BC vs. ND against Tim. BC won, but it was a close game at times.

and then i came in here and took a test to determine my religious beliefs. the test is here. It says i'm a secular humanist, or that at least my answers most closely match that belief category. i'll buy that.

"Humanism is a rational philosophy informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by compassion. Affirming the dignity of each human being, it supports the maximization of individual liberty and opportunity consonant with social and planetary responsibility. It advocates the extension of participatory democracy and the expansion of the open society, standing for human rights and social justice. Free of supernaturalism, it recognizes human beings as a part of nature and holds that values -- be they religious, ethical, social, or political -- have their source in human experience and culture. Humanism thus derives the goals of life from human need and interest rather than from theological or ideological abstractions, and asserts that humanity must take responsibility for its own destiny. • The American Humanist Association"

next up was unitarian universalism at 92%, but that seems just like this all-encompassing touchy feely "believe what you want" system.

straight up atheism/agnosticism was next at 89% and then therevada buddhism (?) at 73 followed closely by liberal quakerism. my raised religion, the roman catholic thing, rounds out towards the very bottom: 27%.

ok ok, peace out time. hopefully i'll do a little more of this writing thing now that i seem to be able to reliably connect to the site.

so i guess it's been a day or two, my excuse will run as such: the router between BC and s-t was broken and i couldn't connect. how that explains why i didn't just write entries knowing that one day soon, i could post them, well, it doesn't explain it one bit. you get what you get, you don't get upset.

so i'm back at BC. hurrah. on saturday, armed with nothing but beer and the power hour cd i made the night before in my room in jersey, we residents of 830/829 celebrated our return in high fashion. power hour at 8, kings at 9, asshole at 10, bedtime at 11. a rollicking drunk time full of crank phone calls, IM blocking, and filene's teddy bear lovin.

next day was what one could call a slow day. i slept till 1ish, didn't do anything productive with my day until 3 or so. and what i did then probably resembled football on the ps2. then simpsons. then god knows what, i just don't remember.

then class on monday. mondays are looking good. we've got counterpoint, which is whatever, a music class that will be half interesting and half too much work that i don't feel like doing. then fiction writing, with a regular firecracker of a young teacher. that class should be interesting if i manage to figure out some goddam things to write. then another tentative class called "from stage to studio" which is about plays and how they made it to film and how the transition went, etc.

monday night was a lot more football, the roommates plus TIM have embarked on dynasty mode, wherein each guy takes a team and plays the shit out of them week by simulated week. beer drinking, pageantry and cursing ensue.

tuesday's classes, not so fun. management and operations, and then business law. today in business law i tried developing an algorithm for those magic squares. magic squares being those math puzzles where you take a series of consecutive numbers, and arrange them in a square such that the rows, columns and diagonals all sum to the same number. well, i figured out how all 3x3 squares work, but aside from that, my endeavors were largely failures.

then after class i went to katie's for the grande bostonians dinner. also, i just got avey tare and panda bear in my head for no good goddam reason. dinner was good, dimitrios cooked up some food, i drank some wine, huzzah huzzah.

wednesday schedule tomorrow: counterpoint and then world cinema later on in the evening. i may or may not (probably may) be showing rushmore as the semester's inagaural movie night showing. although, attendance will be strictly word of mouth as i have sent no e-mail.

and let me tell you the great thing about no class till 2, if i don't want to set the alarm, i don't have to. in fact, there is absolutely no reason to even think about setting it. until of course i get a work schedule... then my life goes back down the toilet. but until then, it's time to get my sleep on.

here it is, my top 25 songs of the calendar year 2001. I tried to put them in a particular order, and the order there kinda of works, but is largely arbitrary, since i hold much of this music on equal grounds sometimes, and quite fluctuating grounds the other times. but no matter, ignore the numbers and peep the music.

#25. Radiohead - Life In A Glasshouse (Amnesiac)
the closing track of the wonderful amnesiac, Thom and the boys eschew the raging rock of past outings and the blistering electronics and bizaro effects, and give us a song accompanied by a dirging piano and a new orleans style jazz band. The effect, mixed with thom's paranoid lyrics is quite haunting.

#24. Belle & Sebastian - Take Your Carriage Clock and Shove It (Belle and Sebastian Sing Jonathan David)
Stuart Murdoch sings a great story over a hearbreaking country-tinged string-infused accompaniment. Perfect fodder for endless repeats during my summer work days.

#23. Les Savy Fav - Adopduction (Go Forth)
Even the title makes me laugh. Great little guitar and synth number from the seminal art-punkers. Kid gets abducted, parents don't want to pay the ransom, stockholm syndrome hilarity ensues.

#22. Mates of State - Everyone Needs an Editor (My Solo Project)
young husband and wife duo play the organ, pound the drums, and scream wonderfully energetic and fun harmonies. Saw these guys in concert, and the amount of sound these two small people made, and the amount of fun in that sound just floored me. Tempo and structure changes galore, and a great line "i'll color the sky with you / i'll let you choose the blue."

#21. Low - Like a Forest (Things We Lost In The Fire)
At almost a breakneck tempo for a Low song, this is just one of those chills-up-my-spine tunes. Wonderfully understated strings, Mimi's harmonies so low in the mix, but not so low that you can't feel their presence. Two and a half minutes of beauty.

#20. White Stripes - Hotel Yorba
Brother sister, husband wife, divorcees, whatever jack and meg white are, they know how to rock the fuck out on just a guitar and drums. She crashes cymbals with reckless abandon, he yelps with the soul of a tortured blues singer in the deep south early in the century. A boisterous bluegrass or southern or whatever porchside stomp.

#19. The Avalanches - Since I Left You (Since I Left You)
Title track of the year's best mix tape mass produced for thirsty dance floors everywhere. And what? it's all sampled? a triumph in ability that they not only pieced together a song from all found samples, but that it is such a goddam good song.

#18. Rufus Wainwright - Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk (Poses)
Poses is such a great album, it would be hard to pick out a lead song if i hadn't for some reason (probably the title) chose this one to be my favorite way early in the game.

#17. Bonnie Billy - Sweeter Than Anything (More Revery)
Prince Oldham treated us this year with an EP of 6 covers, all magically transformed into Oldhamerrific goodness, even a song from such sugary fucks like Tim McGraw. This guy's is something else, and this PJ Harvey cover is one of the more passionate songs of the year.

#16. Death Cab For Cutie - A Movie Script Ending (The Photo Album)
So what if the "hiway" bits linger a little past their welcome? This song is just great. One of the greatest things to do is to be listening to this song on a clear, sunny day when he reaches the last "passing through unconscious states..." and looking up when he finally hits it big and just grinning like an idiot from ear to ear.

#15. Superchunk - Out On The Wing (Here's To Shutting Up)
Airplane paranoia, self doubt, cultural irrelevance, all wrapped up in a great popped up, rocket out package.

#14. The Microphones - The Moon (The Glow Pt. 2)
After a quiet intro guitar section, phil elvrum thrusts us deep into a rushed, dense, relentless story full of so many words, starting with a simple story of a personal moment launching into phils' patented too much to comprehend brand of suggestive lyrics and imagery. This song is an experience, always pushing forward, especially those gorgeous sax swells.

#13. Ben Folds - Annie Waits (Rockin' The Suburbs)
So there is life after BF5. Perfect pop music right here, drum machines, keyboards, great builds, great choruses, and most important of all... handclaps.

#12. Dntel - (This is) The Dream of Evan and Chan (Life is Full of Possibilities)
Death Cab's Ben Gibbard helps out electronic wonderkid Dntel for this gorgeous song of lush synths, static, and perfect vocals. A meeting of two great minds, a song to make any moment right.

#11. Dump - Pop Life (That Skinny Motherfucker With the High Voice?)
The highlight song of an album of Prince covers full of highlights from the bassist of Yo La Tengo. Armed with an acoustic guitar, some weird keyboard thingy and what appears to be a drum machine, James McNew takes me elsewhere. To a place where everything is chill and relaxed, and this becomes the anthem of popular music instead of the similarly minded N*Sync song.

#10. Belle & Sebastian - Jonathan David (Belle & Sebastian Sing Jonathan David)
Yeah, I know what you're thinking, "two songs from a 3 song single?" well, what can i say really... it's good stuff. This song grew on me like a weed, easily taking over Carriage Clock as best of single. IT's Belle & Sebastian doing what they do best: being awesome.

#9. Spoon - Me and the Bean (Girls Can Tell)
Never has a band from Texas sounded so British. It sounds like late night gutter rock from the secret spots of the Queen Mum's domain, taken from the 60's or 70's and frozen in time. Dirty-sounding vocals, spark-shooting guitars, and shimmering pianos built a song that feels right at home with the cover art.

#8. Figurine - IMpossible (The Heartfelt)
They know the way to my heart: drum machines and synths. Easily the best song written about the digital age, even surpassing Britney Cleary's "IM Me." It was no easy task picking one song from this album, but i managed. It makes me smile and it makes me feel special in my special places. This Dntel dude is on a role.

#7. Weezer - Photograph (Weezer)
Weezer and hand claps and falsetto "ooh-oohs." That's really all it takes.

#6. The Dismemberment Plan - Following Through (Change)
The d-plan in effect. The more i think about it, the more i know that Change is destined for the number 1 spot if i make my top albums of the year list. So the plan's grown up, they still have one of the most unique rhythm player in the biz, but travis is keeping things a little more low-key and delivering more personal lyrics that really hit home.

#5. Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Under The Hedge
Arena guitar hooks to make Rush blush. Leo's unrestrained passion, and the rock. Oh yes, the rock.

#4. The Dismsmberment Plan - Time Bomb
I guess this is really close to the other d-plan song, but that's what happens with last minute arranges, I guess. this song floored me live, and did a number of me on disc two. I spoke of travis's moving and personal lyrics, i do think that "i am a lost soul and i send out a sickened light for anyone to see / a cry for help, a warning to stay away, a burning, blinding, bleaching, death mask white." is one of the best lines of the year, moreso when coupled with his passionate delivery.

#3. White Stripes - Fell in Love With a Girl
Speaking of the rock. None of that porch-side hillbilly shit here, no no, just the biggest rock in the world. And to think, it's all being made by two waifish indie-kids.

#2. The Strokes - Someday / Last Nite
No rules about sticking two songs in a slot. When it came down to it, i just couldn't decide. More of the rock. I could probably throw the whole album in this slot, but i didn't. The hype machine isn't always that off, i mean sure, these guys aren't saving rock, but they're definitely doing their best to keep it going. Too bad they've got all the ingredients for an explosion, leaving the world to wonder if maybe, had they stuck around a little longer if they could've been rock's saviors.

and the number one song of my year:

#1. The Secrets - The Loneliest Duet
And to think, if i didn't happen to be in OtherMusic one day while they were playing this, i'd be adrift in the sea of life, always seeing this self-produced, CDR'd, hand-drawn CD art disc on the OM shelves and thinking, "hmm, friends of the employees, pass." This song may just have had more playtime than all the others on the list combined. Brilliantly employed drum machine, nice keyboardy stuff, and electric guitar that i've just recently begun to listen in wonder at it's effective simplicity. Boy girl vocals, camel lights, whiskey, cemeteries , thrift stores, vinyl, and indie love. the world i want to live in.

week in review time!

so, monday i think it was, new year's eve, i left for marlborough, MA at about 2pm. listened to my music, and got to linens-n-things at about 6:20 to pick up brenda, we puttsed around her house for a bit and then left to pick up her friend Nicole and then we headed off to Boston. We didn't run into all the traffic we imagined, so to kill some time, and also to fill the gaping hole in my stomach, i grabbed a couple slices at Presto's and then off to 1653. The party wasn't bad, granted, i knew no one outside of the host, todd, and my two lovely dates. Beer was had, a ball was dropped, 30 people or so gathered on the roof for cigarettes and celebration. we saw fireworks and it was nothing like the Plan's "ice of boston," unfortunately. We then sought other arrangements for sleeping, as sharing the floor with 20 some odd people and a lot of spilt beer was very unappealing. A word of advice to all you kids at home: if you're planning on spending an evening in a student office in an academic building on the boston college campus, for the love of god, make sure the door is completely shut when you go to sleep.

The next day, i slept in, then we went to the mall where we ate at a really bad friday's and i bought star wars legos. we then drove around seeing the sights of the hudson/marlborough area, including brenda's high school which reminded me of the one-room schoolhouses of yore. Then it was back to the mall to see Beautiful Mind. I was a little critical at the time, because Ron Howard got all Opie at the end, but the movie was really quite good. For the first 2 acts i was as intrigued as I ever am at a film, russel crowe was great, which makes me angry at gladiator once again. I will never make up with that movie.

Coffee and Conan wrapped up the evening. Next day it was an early rise, and i was taken around Groton, and then various other little notables until Concord Mass. And then a blockbuster night. Dark Crystal was weird and bad and scary and turned off early, say anything was sat through but deemed awful, but luckily i found a winner with you can count on me, but seriously, can anyone watch that movie and not love it?

i learned how to play spit and held my own, and we enjoyed some stolen goods from the party on monday evening.

Next morning, another early rise, a very early rise considering i feel asleep at 5, i dropped brenda off at the LnT, and then headed down to glastonbury, CT to pick up Jude. His directions were terrible. He had me looking for a yellow house number 860. After a few phone calls to Mrs. Paulding, i found my destination, a pink #112 or something. Jude said his goodbyes and we hit the road. Grabbed gas and burger king in new york and made it home to Long Valley at around 3:30.

At which point, we began playing NCAA 2002. We stopped at about 2:30 in the morning.

I woke up at 6 the next day, and we were on the road to morristown listening to howard stern unfunnily bash the french at 7am. Hopped a train and got into Penn Station. We stopped at a dunkin donuts, which was run with nazi-like efficiency, and then grabbed a cab to our first movie theater.

The theatre was, i think, where we saw magnolia, Jude says we saw insider there, and we both agree that we tried to get tickets for O Brother Where art Thou. The movie was Charlotte Gray. Starring Cate Blanchette. Charlotte is a weak-willed scottish woman who goes to france to work for la resistance for the english against the nazis in WWII so she can find her RAF boyfriend. She meets Jesus' Son, Billy Crudup and becomes a french communist and does some stuff. It was a solid movie, one i enjoyed, but nothing spectacular and i'm glad we started with it.

And off to the Paris Theatre for the 11:45 Amelie. Here's a movie that seems to exist just to make you experience joy. I dunno, i loved it. Can't wait to see it again.

Back to theatre #1 for Gosford Park. Loved this as well, murder mystery in the british countryside with a cast of 20-30 fully developed characters. Just a joy, can't wait to see this again. But, whereas i want to see amelie just for the experience of seeing the movie again, gosford park i will probably get a lot more out of now that i have the huge web of characters kind of under my belt.

Cabbed it to umm, the theatre we saw state and main in that sells the toblerone and, as we discovered, is across the street from the world's most expensive houlihans, for In the Bedroom. I feel asleep for maybe 10 minutes in the middle because i was damn tired. the movie was rough. it was so incredibly sad, just left me feeling empty at the end. I was a little critical of this, i mean, it seemed like the movie has no point besides to make the viewer completely drained. even requiem left the window of hope for one or two characters open just a tiny tiny tiny tiny bit. but not here. I've had a day to sit on the movie, and i appreciate it more now that i'm a little removed. Spacek and Wilkinson i think his name is did wonderful jobs, but still, while i'm glad I saw the movie, i'm not sure i'm going to run around reccomending it.

took another cab, this time across town to some shitty furnace of a theatre to close the day with the coen's The Man Who Wasn't There. Black and white, very slow to develop, probably not the best movie to close with due to its incredibly deliberate pacing, but i really enjoyed it. Billy Bob Thorton was just kind of haunting with is completely detached presence, it was really neat.

then back to Penn Station, i got nathan's and a beer, and we took the train home. Got home around 12:30 and played another 3 hours of football.

Woke up the next day and played another few hours before Jude left. Then i played FFX. And then today i slept late and did work for my dad. i wanted to go see the royal tennenbaums today, but i don't think i'll be done with dinner early enough to make our theatres late show of 7:10.