self-titled: ^_^

argh. i've just spent 2 hours wading through 1000 postings of pure crap. While yes, I'm in a hugely frustrating job, I'm not ready to start whoring myself out to every garbage post in the hopes that someone will bite and give me another crappy job. All of it, it's bookkeeping or phone support for some company with a god-awful website and the overwhelming projection that i never want to step foot in their office. Seriously, two hours were just spent to find 4 jobs. 4. The four that represent the upper eschelon of crappy jobs that i am unbelievably suited for but will still not give me a second thought because unfortunately, putting "i'm really good, i swear, hire me and you'll see" in a resume won't get you anywhere and everything else is the same crap that 100 other people who applied for the job today have in their resume. this is the suck. I can't quit looking because that certainly won't get me anywhere, but good god, this could not sap my will to live any more.

On the plus side, i had an enjoyable weekend. Friday i met tony and friends for some drinks at mary ann's, then dinner at cityside and then multiple rounds of golden tee and beer at the avenue. Golden tee, i had only played it once, but man is it fun. Although i need to refine my swing so that i don't injure my hand like i did this weekend. It was so bruised and stuff that it hurt squeezing my shampoo bottle the next day.

On Saturday i chilled out with my incapacitating headache all day, until the mixed invitation of adam playing at great scott's and jin having a party motivated me to shower shave and get out of the house. I went down to scotts, saw adam outside, then tony and company came up. Rather than pay a $7 cover, i went with them to the Avenue for umm, another round of Golden Tee. An hour later when that was over, i hoofed it down to coolidge corner for jin's ghetto party in the basement of her apartment. ALmost all my time was spent in the large open room with the ping pong table and survivor flip cup. I got on a team, we won a game and then lost five in a row. Oops. I was last man standing. And i whittled the other team (the queens of potpourri i believe were the chaps' team name) from 5 to 4 to 3 to 2 and then to 1. Luckily, it wasn't BC rules of 6 cups from beginning to end, but needless to say, it was still quite an endeavor. Never have i received so much attention, praise and goodwill from a room full of strangers as I did that night, overcoming insurmountable odds and winning over even the deepest cynic's heart. And then i lost in the final round. and then i staggered home.

usually sunday stuff, mcdonald's buffy, angel, video games. then today. Had the urge to attempt cooking. was going to be chicken, then i thought, "hey, why not wrap something in prosciutto?" scallops came to mind. my mother thought this retarted, but i just did a search and found a number of recipes so i win. so on lunch i bought the stuff, as well as some asparagus and rice junk. but dinner plans were moved until tomorrow and i went to city sides with old bostonians and amy.

okeydoke, time for sleep. no videogames today, damn job search, i hate you. Also, if i don't write tomorrow it is likely because i burned down the house in my heroic quest to wrap something in prosciutto.

oh man, my head hurts, i need to take a break from reading the livejournal entries month by month of some anime obsessed furry who decided he was bi and then decided he was a woman. it's like a horrible sitcom as i read its daily trials and tribulations (it is currently on hormones but pre-op for a year or so) of living in minneapolis as a 160 pound she-cow with a penis with its entourage of friends and lovers of ambiguous sexual identity. laugh! as it talks about its friend who said she was going to commit suicide because he couldn't find a place for its cats to live. cheer! as it has illicit sexual encounters on crowded dance floors buy a guy who started up north, went down south and apparantly just said "oh, my. whatever" and kept on going. cry! as its parents give their money to their son (who has stayed as such) so he can go to law school instead of funding its trip to thailand (!) for its SRS (which i assume is where a crank thailand doctor in a dingy basement turns your neener into a noony with the aid of a rusty knife). this is entertainment. screw fox and their paradise hotel. check it here start with 1996 and go from there. it's certainly a journey.

oh good christ, it just declared that the twin towers deal is a metaphor for its life because umm, one of her tranny friends won't lend it money and uhh, the DDR machine she likes to stomp on is broken.

I need a sanity break and i will take one and talk about my lunch today. i went to au bon pan (the good bread? wtf does that mean anyway) and said, "hell, why not, i'll just order something off the menu" and i got a turkey club. Now a little about myself: for years and years, i brough a salami sandwich to lunch. that's just salami on white bread. i've come a long way since then, and the sandwiches i occassionally bring to work now have a.) a meat and b.) cheese. that's two flavors. there have been a couple of times i've gone crazy, notably two. the first was in minneapolis (still haven't imported it to the new site) and then i think i had an italian sub sometime last year. ok anyway, i'm totally not interested in this sandwich anymore, but i've gone this far. and this sandwich was important because i feel it is a metaphor for what happened on 9/11/01. i got a turkey club. it was turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, bacon, bread, and herb mayo. I've not had mayonnaise before to my recollection, and it was the "scary" element to the sandwich. ANyway, the sandwich was fine, but it was not fun to eat. There's apparantly a reason i stick to simple sandwiches, they taste like something. roast beef and cheese tastes like, roast beef or cheese, depending on the bite. It's easy to handle. this sandwich i had today tasted like something different each bite, and a lot of times it didn't really taste like anything i could pin down. occasionally i'd get "bacon!" or "hmm, that was a tomato" but those were rare encounters. i ate this whole damn sandwich and not once did i register the taste of "cheese" or "turkey" despite it being a turkey club with a huge thing of cheese. furthermore, i ate a whole sandwich, and i'm still afraid to eat mayo. since i couldn't seperate the taste of mayo, i have no clue if i like it, or if it a horrible thing that will make me throw up but i just couldn't taste it because of all the other shit. each bit of the sandwich was hesitant, "the last bite was ok, but will this bite bring on some awful mayo and make me ill?" i was never comfortable eating the sandwich, i never felt secure. Why have a billion ingredients if you don't really know what you're eating? i think there is only one thing left for me to do. I will start with the basics, bread and a meat. from there, i will add one ingredient. say i start with turkey. I will have turkey and tomato, or turkey and bacon, and then turkey and lettuce. I will take detailed notes on all these combinations, and then i will add another ingredient, following suit until all possible combinations have been played out. Then i will repeat with ham. etc., etc. It will take the rest of my life i'm sure, but when that point comes, i will have compiled the complete sandwich compendium for my offspring to publish in my death and make millions off of, because within the billion combinations, i will have found the perfect sandwich, and finally the centuries old fued between israel and palestine will be resolved.

ok, back to my tranny friend. I vow to read up to it's SRS (stupid retardo surgery?) and then stop. "polyamory?" is that a word? i hate this freak.also, why are all these transexuals plagued with MS and diabetes and lupus and shit? what a weird crazy world that thankfully exists only on the internet. ooh, its getting married now. this just keeps getting better.

bahahahaha "neo-vagina" ahahaah

man, i keep reading this forgetting that this is a guy. that bothers me. man, "with a pit stop in Neenah WI so Dana can have her labiaplasty"... "labiaplasty?" "Dana" is also a guy. i hate this world and i want to leave it and go to my bed where everything is sorta normal and every i know has at the very least accepted their birth sex. oh man, i just DON'T GET IT. how does this thing say with full confidence "i'm a chick" and then piss standing up? my head hurts.

oh great, i just found out it has blue hair, good christ.

man, screw this. i'm going to bed. will kevin raise the money to go under the knife to become kevina? Will Dana/Daniel's Multiple Sclerosis stand in the way of having to manually dilate his manufactured "neo-vagina?" Well Emi's grandma get a good yelling at for having the nerve to send her grandthing a card that says "happy birthday grandson?" all these questions will be answered and more in my own personal hell at the internet link i provided above.

i actually legitimately forgot about this. must've been my exciting days full of sitting around and occasionally standing up and moving to a new location that did it.

truth be told, my tonsils are inflamed (i think), it hurts when i swallow, there is something criminally wrong with my neck, i want a new job and looking for one isn't a particularly reassuring process, and i accidentally deleted my copy of nick cave's "no more shall we part." But on the plus side, the weather finally changed from "pleasantly temperate but rainy" to "ow shit make the heat stop." so that's cool.

yeah i'm just nice and tired, think i will take out the trash and then go to bed.

expect a self-titled revival in the coming days followed by a week or two of neglect.

"[someone] once said 'if you have the choice between printing the truth and printing the legend... print the legend.'" So was a quote early on in 24 hour party people which gave nice perspective on the movie that lay ahead of it. It was about the rise and fall of manchester's factory records, prominenly featuring looks at joy division and the happy mondays, and from the onset, you weren't worried about whether it was a documentary or a piece of fiction. and good for them for making that work.

good movie though, whoever played tony wilson i liked a lot. made me want to listen to joy division and buy the new order box set that just came out. also made me wish i wasn't sitting in my living room on a saturday night watching a movie, but instead was out living a life i can't possibly live. not my fault my friends are all squares. ha. maybe one friday i'll bite the bullet and go check out start! alone. but probably not.

before that movie, i watched the karate kid, which is a damn fine movie. then, after the movie, abc family tried to trick me into watching the next karate kid. had it been karate kid 2, there'd be no question. but the fucking next karate kid, with hillary swank? they almost had me though, sadly. the first strike was very early on when hillary swank's grandma yelled at her and called her susan, Hillary's reply. "It's [name.] Not susan. Susan is your daughter- my mother. and two years ago she and my father died in a car crash." now that's just fabulous writing. why bother naturally giving us a backstory when you can just awkwardly tie it up in a sentence that no one would ever say. The second strike was when hillary swank broke into the high school and climbed up on the roof to talk to her... pet hawk. and strike three didn't even get a chance to present itself. when she talked to the hawk i went for the remote as quickly as possible and started 24 hour party people.

hahah, i simply cannot hear the beginning of "love will tear us apart" without fully and honestly expecting the missy elliott vocal to kick in. awesome.

so let's go back to thursday, the night i was a 24 hour party person. Adam was playing trombone on a few songs in a band down at Great Scott. I left home around 7, intending to check out roggie's because mark was having some benefit for some councilman dude and there would be free beer and food. however, it was downstair's roggie's, so when i got there i had no way of seeing what it was like. so i said screw it, got some pizza, and hopped the T down to coolidge corner, where i just walked around for about an hour.

go to great scott, said hello to adam, then i see some kid and think "that looks like lex" and it was lex. his band was playing that night as well. awesome. so i hung around, drank beers saw live music. went to redneck's with a couple of katie's friends afterwards where queso fries were most certainly had, and then we went back to 14 lake, for drinks and god knows what, but somehow, at 6am, there were like 6 of us out on the front porch. at 6:30 i headed home, showered, made some coffee, and headed downtown. got an omelette at steve's and then went to work for the worst day of my life. For my lunch break, i actually just set the chair to full recline and took a nap. To say i was useless there that day would be a vast understatement.

on my way home, i stopped by hollywood video to look for some movies to rent. it makes sense to go there since it is walking distance from work and makes pickups and returns easy. i walked in and had no idea what was going on. the layout was all weird and i coudln't understand it and the colors throughout the store were all strange and i was confused and had to leave. took the d line home and hit good old recognizable blockbuster. picked up secretary and 24 hour party people.

was supposed to watch the movie with katie when she got back from finding nemo, but at 7pm i passed out and when she got home felt it not right to wake me up. probably the right decision.

got up around 9 or 10 this morning, made some coffee, dropped off dry cleaning and laundry (this makes twice now i'm making use of the wash and fold service, i could not feel more lazy) then back home for some serious video games. the katie and i watched secretary, which was a charming look at sado-masochism which was neither offensive nor humerous. it basically treated s&m like any other relationship so that we're watching it and saying "yeah, ok, i get that." or maybe just me, i shouldn't be speaking for katie like that.

then i went and got more presto's and some beer, came home and watched karate kid, etc.

also, after some pretty heavy research earlier, i determined that the chick with short hair in t.A.T.u. is hot and the other one is not. which only goes to further cement the posit that given the choice between a girl with a boy haircut and a girl with a girl haircut that i will go with the boy haircut. i like to think that that makes me progressive or something, but i'm sure it just makes me one step closer to gay.

i should just close this window, but then what if i have some brilliant, or at least vaguely interesting though? then what, make a new entry?

no, instead i'll just leave this up and spew randomly into it as i see fit. maybe not.

wow. how am i so tired? i even went to bed at like 10:30 last night. man it sucks being old.

yesterday a fun thing happened. i forgot my wallet, which isn't a big deal since i no longer buy lunch or coffee or breakfast, however, in my wallet is my T pass, no biggy for the morning since people at my end of the b line are rational. but going home, i forgot to get a buck from someone at work, and of course, god forbid a guy in a shirt and tie and a little shoulder bag at 5:30 saying that he has a t pass but left his wallet at home is doing anything other that cleverly attempting to get a free ride. clearly that's a hustler's hustle, and asshole was right to stand tall and wary in his little booth. but then some girl gave me a token and was super nice about it and i felt awful and tried to give her a half consumed pack of gum i had, but she wasn't interested. serious karma for that chick.

now, why i have some personal problems saying that i want to do the olsen twins (i call it the michelle complex), i am able to objectively see that they are sorta cute, and i'll be damned if their movies aren't entertaining. however, this is super disturbing. A.) they're 16. B.) they're clearly playing up the fact that creepy and not-so-creepy men all over the place would love to see them make-out. Great michelle, still fresh off of receiving your license, pose in some picture where you give your twin sister some sick incestual look so that you can tantalize men all over the country. If danny tanner knew his youngest would grow up to be such a whore, i bet he wouldn't have killed his wife in that boating "accident."

sooo tired. good thing i didn't ask to tag along to finding nemo, because i'd probably just nod off. and now i can be sure i wouldn't be interrupting adam and katie's courting process. or something.

can't decide if i'm to buy the new radiohead or not. cause, i have it, but i like owning things. it is real good though. finally picked up the broken social scene cd the other day (after a month of looking for it) and then the single frame album was downloaded recently, and they kick ass. single frame sounds like early les savy fav at times, but with a wider array of instruments, and a completely different sound. except for the dude's voice sounds like tim. on a few songs. so there. and broken social scene is just way good. "anthems for a seventeen year-old girl" is my new favorite "turn loud and bliss out to" songs. violin lines over picked banjo and bass and stuff and a heavily treated female vocal line. i dig it, makes me feel all warm and shit. especially when the vocal line gets all these crazy harmonics over it that sound like the chipmunks, but synthesized.

ok, gotta make my lunch and go to sleep.

how the hell old are the people on three's company supposed to be? early twenties? mid 30s? i have no freaking clue. this happens more and more. like all those people on reality shows, i'm like "oh yeah, these people are way older than i am" the i see that they're like 19. i really have no clue. so when i see a show like three's company i don't know what to think. They're a bunch of freaking losers though. janet and chrissy1/2/3 sleep in twin beds in the same bedroom for christ's sake. I'm figuring these people are 30 years old probably (though i could be way wrong) and these two girls share a goddam bedroom? And they are so incredibly poor. they like scrape around to pay rent and have like 20 dollars in their checking accounts. granted, it was the late 70s/early 80s and the dollar was worth more then, but christ, after watching an episode of that show i a.) feel better about my life and b.) get scared as hell that i'll grow up and be a loser like them. but they do have fun, i'll give them that.

oooh nice diet coke commercial.

i'm confused because tvguide says that there is over an hour left to sixteen candles, and yet we're at the after-dance party already. Guess it takes up more time than i remember? ooh, breakfast club is on next, score.

last night met up with adam and katie, err, not the adam and katie of the katie i'm living with, but instead the adam and katie of the adam i'm living with. boy, and i thought tim s and tim k was annoying.

anyway, met with them and went with some other girl to some bar down washington street. it was uber sketchy so we went to big city. some more people came and pool and drinking was had.

then we went to redneck's for magical queso fries. drunk food is the stuff of gods. we then went back to 14 lake for pool, foosball, and a number of ill-advised glasses of scotch and stuff. it was about 5am that i emerged. i came home and saw approximate 30 seconds of head of the class and then slept until 2pm.

today i did nothing but play video games. I beat mega man 1 and 2, and began mega man 3. mega man 3 is retardedly hard. i have no idea how i ever beat this game for reals without using built in emulator cheating functions like turbo and state saves. i must have been some goddamed twitch gaming progidy when i was 10.

this movie (sixteen candles) is weird. i both hate it and love it. i think really the only parts i hate are the ones involving long duck dong, and boy do i hate those. the rest of it is gold. boy am i excited for the breakfast club.

during my gaming session today i had on, i'm not sure why, abc family. i can't remember what show was on tat i started watching the channel, but i left it on straight until 11:30. oh right, it was casper meets wendy at about 5:30. it was one of those "i'm going to leave this on just because it makes me ill" things. it was terrible, hillary duff has bad teeth, do i need to mention how creepy casper as a love interest is, and, is casper the friendly ghost really so cute and happy when you think about the fact that he's a little boy who died?

after that was an early episode of 7th heaven, which was incredibly entertaining and omg so preachy i couldn't take it. then came some other stuff, but really the reason i brought up abc family is because they had a commercial for teen wolf and i really want to see that movie.

an hour left of the movie and the party is over already? wtf. the layout of high school movies has really changed i guess. or maybe tvguide.com is lying to me, because it really does feel like this movie is wrapping up.

i should see pretty in pink again. i remember not liking it, but i bet i was just mistaken.

so anyway, last night was a lot of fun, but i paid for it approximately all day today. that was not so much fun, but whatever. what's an incapacitating headache and zero will to live compared to a fun night of getting shitfaced?

ok, ishould just close this window now so i'm not tempted to give play by play tv watching for the next couple of hours.

i think i'm going through a midlife crisi or something, because i have this overwhelming urge to do something grand, reminiscent of my glory days. this must be... pop! the sequel is a daunting task and one i don't think i'm capable of. perhaps a mix dedicated to snap or crackle? i think i have enough glitch stuff to effectively make a cd full of crackle, but that's pretty weak in scope. man, i don't know.

ooh, just had a thought, i could make it a companion piece to tmbp. mainly because i'm listening to enon's "window display" and i'm like omghi pavement "date with ikea."

oh jesus. stupid music doing funny things to a guy. opening of figurine's stranger comes up and BAM takes me right back to this day. probably help that the song rocks, but how clearly i remember walking along the wrong side of the res in the snow and just having it fill my head.

and hearing that song made me remember the day, but i had no way to link to it without adding it to the archives, so, for you reading pleasure, i've imported archives back to October 2001. a lot of fun to be had from november '01 to april '02, let me assure you.

and wow did that suck up my night. i'm tired. time to think of my witty title and post this sucker.

word. yesterday i downloaded old school and katie and i watched it to much enjoyment.

after that i embarked on my trip to cambridge. ted leo was playing middle east downstairs and certainly sir was upstairs... so really, if ted leo was sold out, it still wouldn't have been a wasted trip. Got down there, braved the rain, and hit downstairs. it was like 9:30, the chick on the phone made it seem like tickets were going fast, so i didn't dally, and when i got there the place was near empty.

so, i got a beer and resigned myself to loser all by himself at a rock show. about 20 minutes later, 2 guys i knew showed up, so all was well and i got to experience a show like a normal person. ted loe freaking rocked, can't say anything even close about the opening acts. there were two girls there as well who work at the phone center and as hard as i tried, i could not remember the phone center speech. then i made one of them do it, and it all came back and was very fun.

today was sunday go to supermarket and mcdonalds then watch buffy and angel. at mcdonalds they were out of nuggets. "blah blah blah and a six peice nuggets" "we have no chicken nuggets" "what?" "we're out of nuggets" "you're out of nuggets? how does that happen." "we're out of nuggets." then i panicked and ordered another thing of fries instead.

katie and i had a rare afternoon in that instead of wanting to kill ourselves after the dreck that is the fourth season of buffy, we saw a very entertaining two-parter. thank god for small miracles.

then blah blah blah something something. later on in the evening katie and i read erotic gay buffy fan fiction. well mainly i looked for the pages,sent the links to katie and she read it. she's kind of sick that way.

cheers.