self-titled: ^_^

awesome. 10:30 friday night, i'm showered, shaved, and about 30 minutes away from getting into bed.

i hate having like 3 friends, only one of which can be counted on being up for going out.

that smith's song came on last night 'take me out tonight / where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive' that's me. I want so bad to be out right now, and have half a mind just to go to a bar, but then i realize that going out alone will not possibly be fun. It's the goddam weekend, i've dealt with a crap job that i hate for 5 days and now i want to take these two days and just go out and have fun and I CAN'T. Jin was supposed to call me and i was to go to cambridge but WHOOPS that didn't happen and i don't have her number so fuckall. tony had something to do. adam is working, and Katie is at lori's and doesn't like going out anyway. story of my freaking life. all would be well if the poker game didn't get cancelld. Me, bar, music, people, beers. oh wait, not happening. hold on... nope STILL NOT THERE.

ARGH

fuck it. 10:45, Friday night, going to bed. peace.

EDIT

i'm woken up at 11:30 to my phone, it's jin, they are heading to the place in cambridge which will take me an hour to get to. that sucks, a call 2 hours earlier would've been good eh. then i see i have a message, tony, he's going to cleveland circle. that i can do. time for booze.

ok so i'm sick of mars.

At first it was awesome, i'd go outside see mars bright in the sky and be all "wow, that's mars" then ponder about the infinite heavens and stuff like that. now, a week later, i look up, see it and think "wow, look at that small, albeit clearly visible, bright orange dot," and move on.

speaking of the stars, well, i guess mars is a planet. the other day on buffy tara and willow were lying out and said something vaguely intersting about how you look at a star and there's a chance that the star you are looking at isn't even around anymore because of the speed light travels. not the most insightful thing, but since tara and willow usually only talk about how cute it would be if they dressed up a kitten in a sweater and a pink bow and made it eat marshmallows, that was a pretty deep thing. There. so speaking of the stars, i don't think a job at staples is in them for me. now, let's just suppose for a minute that it's true that everything does happen for a reason... i guess this job fell through so that i can become even more miserable, get an even lower amount of self-esteem, and start my way in earnest to becoming a bitter and hateful person. awesome.

whoops got sidetracked and suddenly tired.

oh man, i want to cry. abc family's website just crashed my opera instance, thus causing me to lose the window i've had open for the past few hours wherein i was writing tonight's entry :(

Usually i would try and recreate what i had written and pretend nothing had happened, but i just can't do that tonight, it hurts my soul too much.

around 12:30 tonight for some reason i got the george thorogood song "one bourbon, one scotch, one beer" in my head. then moments later i was in the kitchen and noticed that i had a little jack daniels left, so, after spending the entire day playign everquest and mario golf, i decided it was time to figure out if george thorogood (actually, as i later found out, john lee hooker) new what he was talking about.

so first up was the remainder of the jack daniels, about half a glass worth. then the scotch. and now there's the last budweiser from when i made chili in front of me. as i said, i'm not sure how i feelabout switching to to the beer, but that's how the song goes so i must comply.

one thing i said that entertained me at least was about last night. when joe was like "we should get shots because the girls aren't drinking and we're guys and we need to drink" i was like "ok" and oly was like "ok! let's get lemon drops" and i was like "OMG lols that's a girl shot" we ended with soco and lime, which was half lime and gross. i was all up for a whiskey or tequila, but since oly's second choice was a buttery nipple (omg lol) my choices weren't about to fly.

Also, last OMG something just made noise in my kitchen and now i'm scared to leave because freddy or jason are there and they are going to kill me and if not me they will just fight each other until one of them dies and then i will go out and be like "OMG freddy/jason is dead on my kitchen floor!" and the jason/freddy will jump out from the shadows and either claw or machete me to death.

anyway, last night we left some bar to go back to Tia's where we started. now there was like a 10 minute line at Tia's, which is a real legitimate bar. the girls wanted no part in this whole "wait ten minutes" thing so we had to go across teh way to Joe's, which is not a real bar. but it was fun becaue we saw a beautiful thing: the one night stand. Katie saw the introductory handshake, we all saw the phallic moving a straw in and out of the guy's pocket and then we all saw the "so what are you doing now" at last call, and then the two of them walking out together. big fun.

one thing that's missing from this makeup entry is all the talk about anna nicole show which i have been watching for nearly an hour. namely, wtf is wrong with that howard guY?

oh yeah, what started this whole "hi, let me crash opera and make you lose yout entry" thing was i was talking about ABC Family and how i watched it today to see growing pains and step by step (JT = mike mancini) and then i talked about the movie with charisma carpented where she seems not at all like cordelia and super cute (it was on tongiht at 8 and i forgot about it, just like i forgot about the fairly oddparents movie on nick... damn you mario golf!) but aside from the cordelia commercial there's all the commercial for this contest about who will date brandon leonard, and one chick of the three is like super cute and i want to marry her and subsequently wish that i was this brandon leonard fellow, whoever he is. also, cordelia looks SO cute in this movie, i hope they rerun it soon.

Ok, one bourbon, one scotch, and on beer are done, and i'm a little buzzed. the question now is, do i have another scotch, or some baileys?

hmm, i think that's actually everything i touched upon in the lost entry. oh wait there was the thing about me wishing i had a digicam so i could take pictures of crap and put it up here like that wil wheaton punk or that canadian guy. today i'd take ab picture of my desk and how i've been using CDs as actual coasters. people always say CDs are coasters, but do they really ever use them as such? i don't know, but with a digital camera i could prove that at least i do.

mmm, this baileys is tasty. i wish i knew why i was watching old anna nicole epiodes, surely there is something better on.

after consulting with the TV guy i have determined that there is indeed nothing better on. except for coach, but i think i will stick with Anna. At three though is three's company.

ok i think i've had quite enough of this

busy week for me, eh

tuesday night, katie and i went out to Jillians because some guy from australia who loves jillian's was going there. we headed down and got some drinks and sat in front of a huge screen that was playing the world series of poker, which was awesome. then australia guy came, his name was something, mark maybe. i remember his last name but that's all i got. bottom line is that he was buying us drinks all night which rocked. played some pool and what not then katie and i went home around 12ish.

wednesday was largely without event and then thursday we went to dave's barbeque which was decent. basically me and paolo and katie sitting around talking about mya tomonokous and stuff.

then today i went to work, miserable as usual, then came home and got all excited to go to Tia's with some people, then that got postponed so i called up tony and then met him at citysides for some beers and a couple of rounds of Tee. then at round 9:30 i boarded the T machine and rode out to fanueil hall and met up with the crew of katie, lori, oly and the married couple and stuff.

from tia's we wandered around and i got to my point of disappointment wherein katie and lori and kim really had no intentions of going out to bars and stuff. i love going out, but i love going out to where people are and even if i'm not mingling with said people, the opportunity exists. katie's idea of goign out is to go to a place and sit with your friends and just stay there. conflict of interest i know. oly and joe and i were all about just going out. so it was a little rough, we went from bar to bar and usually had to leave wicked early on account of the girls, but whatever. that's why i have tonyi suppose.

i bought the araby cd based on some positive reviews today and also picked up a spoon 7" with two unreleased tracks because I heart spoon.

cheers, gotta go to bed because i don't know why perhaps i'm just tired.

haha modest mouse song on a nissan minivan commercial about moms. that's funny on a number of levels. mainly the one where isaac brock is a notorious bad drunk and alleged rapist. the song is all edited weird and stuff too but whatever.

'benjamin mckinley is a revelation' bah. stupid critics. i'm a revelation.

dude, paradise hotel casino, that's just super awesome. sign me up.

so no real news from me, anxiously awaiting the coming weekend. on a monday, that's just great huh? anyway, i've decided i really want just a stupid stupid night. i'm talking the sort of night where you're at a bar drinking beers or whatever and then for some stupid reason get a couple rounds of shots or something. and then the night begins. unfortunately, as I've previously lamented over, the odds of this happening are pretty darn slim. sigh, such is life when you have no friends.

new death cab is pretty nice. seems a step away from the photo album which was a pretty crisp rocker in places... lots of production choices lend the album some distance and space, but to a different effect that whtfaavy, which i think reached a similar end but just by virtue of the money available to record. transatlanticism (new album) needs some more listens for sure, but i like it, a return to the softer slower and moodier side of death cab. also, death cab and mates of state in october. yay and stuff.

paradise hotel is a silly silly place.

that's weird, the opera window i had up disappeared. probably because i closed it or something. of course losing the stuff i had wrote.

basically, i had mentioned something about how at the time i was listening to the new death cab for cutie album. death cab is one of those bands that they release something and i'm excited for it, there is actual palpable excitement as i get and open the package. in this case, the package isn't due until october, so i'm cheating, and detracting from the excitement and suspense and junk. not a huge deal, just kinda hurts that virgin experience. hopefully the mp3s i have are the final mix and we won't have a radiohead fiasco, wherein i still only listen to and have only heard the non-final mix and have been too lazy/cheap to buy the CD.

i also mentioned how i went out with tony last night for the predictable pattern of a few beers, go to a bar and have a few more. The notable thing missing this time around was golden tee because these SOB guys playing it lied to us and started a third game when they said they would only play 2.

i had also mentioned watching the world series of poker on saturday and how if i had friends and a car i would've been at foxwoods at about 3pm on Saturday afternoon. It's a damn shame dutch boyd went out, because he rocked.

oh looks, the BC football team is on the telly with some preseason coverage. I should tell them how bad BC sucks. haha "and BC can count on Derek Knight at tailback" too bad he gets injured in the 2nd game for half the season. oh, now they're talking to quinton porter about how he's different from st. pierre, how about this for an answer "i suck even more." BC's so screwed this year.

i think i said something else earlier, but i'm going to unsay it now because i'm bored.

so yes yes.

I actually passed up a poker game tonight, I think mainly because i didn't feel like arranging transportation or paying for a cab or taking the time to T it, but mainly because it was going to just be a 5 guy table, which doesn't seem as fun, moves quicker, and there's a good chance it'll be a 4 man table in not too much time, which is good for no one. I see my decision not to go however as a triumph, proof that I can say no to the call of the cards.

In other news, played cards last night with Tony and his program kids. I cleaned up.

So, since I'm not at poker, I'm at home, on a Friday night. No surprise really. Adam works all the time, Tony I can't hang out with every night, and that right there sums up my collection of friends. Well Katie's in there too, but the only time she goes out is when I'm not involved, so she's on a different list.

So instead of being out at a bar, which would make happy, I'm at home watching VH1s top 33 bar songs instead. I hate VH1 because all they do is these retarded countdown lists that i'm forced to watch. Luckily this one is only an hour. This show is particularly bad though, because it's full of all these clips of drunk people at bars saying cheesy lines about the song that's playing. Drunk people are great when you're one of them, but right now I've had my fill of 4 girls screaming something in unison and stupid guys saying really lame-ass things. Also, where are these bars? same thing with insomniac, the stuff i see going on there looks nothing like any bar I've been to.

ooookaaaay

what was freddy mercury's deal? how was this guy in a successful band?

this is the stupidest show ever. UB40 is #8. give me a break. oh god, if I had the power to go into the TV to exact justice on these people, i would do it in the most awesome way ever. "it makes me want to drink red wine. and make love. then drink more wine!" DIE DIE DIE. now some girl singing the wrong words to "fight for your right to party" in an embarrassing accent. jimmy buffet needs a slow and torturous death. actuallty, we'll let jimmy buffet lives. What really needs to happen is that Jimmy Buffet's fans all need to die slow and torturous deaths.

three songs left, let's see if i can guess them. If one is 'american pie' i'm going to cry. what else sucks. whitesnake's 'here i go again' would be the coolest thing ever. I dunno how 'sweet caroline' ranks outside of notre damn parties and Mary Anne's... I'm blanking here. guess i'll just have to wait the 10 minutes and find out. ugh, they wouldn't put "pianoman" up there would they? I think it's top 33 rock bar songs anyway. Ok crap, #3 "american pie" gay. ok, 2 more, think me, think. VH1 also insists on playing alternate live versions and crap of all these songs from when the artists are 30 years older and they're all terrible. Like, fat old, don maclean singing the song right there was like a mocking parody of himself. #2 "pour some sugar on me." I guess, i hope someone makes a body shot reference and just tries to pass it off like they meant salt instead of sugar. well, they didn't get any drunk people comments, but the guy from def leppard kind of poured sugar on the host in a body-shot-esque style. okcome on, #1... let's go. and... TEH WINNAR IZ... "you shook me all night long." this show sucks. i want my hour back.

uhh, it's like 11pm, i might just go to bed or something. i am SO cool.

who was it that decided monday nights should be reserved for the absolute shittiest tv imaginable? I think it began around the time of joe millionaire, although i'm not sure that was before or after married by america. then there was err for love or money, for love or money 2, stupid behavior caught on tape, anything for love, and all sorts of other crap including i think 2 reality marriage shows i forgot about. It's just horrifying. Luckily on Tuesday & wednesday i get american juniors and paradise hotel to make up for monday nights.

sigh, just died in my stupid computer game two times, basically making the last 4 hours of my life completely worthless.

i'm completely demoralized now and don't even want to keep writing. i just want to go to bed and cry myself to sleep because a freaking coerced goblin rooted my ass while some pet knocked me unconscious.

anyway, friday after work i went to poker with the explicit plan of not losing a billion dollars like happened the last time. I succeeded. I was actually up maybe $200 or so at one point, the that got smaller and then the four of us remaining played $3/$15 hold em and i lost everything and was forced to buy in for another $100, hoping to win back a little of what i had lost in the remaining 20 minutes we had to play. In that 20 minutes i won like $250 bringing me enough profit to cover cab fare, the six pack i brought, the cigarettes i smoked and uhh something that costs $20.

saturday i don't know what the hell i did because i didn't even get much time playing EQ. I think i spent the day playing with my phone, loading up ringtones (radiohead's no surprises for the day, joy division for night) and puttsing around the interweb via my phone after i learned that as long as you don't use Verizon's WAP, you don't need to pay a cent.

Then i went and rented movies and Katie and i watched kissing jessica stein which was quite good and the good girl which was decent. i guess.

nothing else to say, going to sleep now. played some golden tee with tony last night, staples interview is on wednesday, looks like paolo's driving me maybe, and umm, free kobe.